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While many students assumed he was gay, Joshua insists he was “the last to know” about his orientation, even though he spent an hour or two each night in AOL gay chat rooms and, he says, occasionally had furtive sex with members of his high school’s football team. In high school, he was a gregarious presence who was beloved and protected by the school’s popular girls. But unlike Benjamin, he had long experimented sexually with boys. Joshua, who was a freshman at Curry College, about 40 miles north of Brown, had also recently acknowledged to himself that he was gay.
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When that became too tedious to bear, he slowly began coming out to friends. He flirted with female students and played beer pong with his straight friends. JOSHUA AND BENJAMIN had each only recently come out of the closet and certainly didn’t have marriage in mind when they became friends seven years ago during Benjamin’s freshman year at Brown University.īenjamin first realized his attraction to men his senior year of high school, but at Brown he tried to put it out of his mind. “You can’t be a gay cliché when you get married to a man at 22.” “Honey, am I a gay cliché?”īenjamin shook his head. Am I desperately trying to hold onto my youth?” He grabbed Ben’s arm. I think I’m probably having some issues around that number. “Oh, God,” Joshua said, looking as if he’d just been sucker-punched. I think I’ve earned the right the responsibility that comes with that.” “I dare her to try! I’d say, ‘Woman, get away from my man!’ I’m 24, I’ve been with Ben for a long time and we’ve been married for three years. “And I love your parents to death,” Joshua interrupted, “but it scared me senseless to think that if anything were to happen, if you ended up in the hospital, your mother would get to make the decisions.” Joshua looked at me with a devilish grin. “No, that’s a lot of people,” Benjamin insisted. “I think a lot of straight married couples start hibernating at home once they get married,” Benjamin said. I’ll say: ‘Honey, this is what we’re doing. He calms me down, and I get him out at night. “If it were up to him,” Joshua said, “we’d barely leave the house! We’re actually a terrific team. “I think we may be proof that opposites do attract.”
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“Josh is extremely social, and he keeps us busy all the time,” he told me.
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“Honey,” Joshua said, “we may be married, but we still know how to have a good time, don’t we?”īenjamin, sharply outfitted in green corduroys and an argyle sweater over a striped dress shirt, smiled. And in a rare moment of repose, he sidled up to his taller, auburn-haired mate. (At the other end of the living room, past a marble fireplace, the straights in this case, young associates from the Boston law firm Benjamin had recently joined were debating the best local restaurants.)Īs the night went on, the gays and the straights fueled, I suspect, by a shared appreciation for liquor began to mingle, and before long the party coalesced into a boisterous celebration. “Are you single? Have you met the gays?” Joshua asked, depositing me among them before embarking on a halfhearted search for the couple’s dog, Bernard, who, last I saw him, was eyeing an eel roll left carelessly at dog level. Spotting me alone by a window seat decorated with Tibetan pillows, Joshua, who by that point had a few drinks in him, grabbed my arm and led me toward a handful of young men huddled around an antique Asian “lion’s head” chair. “I beg of you please eat a tuna roll!” Joshua barked, circulating around the spacious apartment in a blue blazer, slim-fitting corduroys and a pair of royal blue house slippers with his initials.
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It was a cozy, festive affair, complete with some 20 guests and a large sushi spread where you might have expected the chips and salsa to be. LAST NOVEMBER IN BOSTON, Joshua Janson, a slender and boyish 25-year-old, invited me to an impromptu gathering at the apartment he shares with Benjamin McGuire, his considerably more staid husband of the same age.